The Power of Dignity

In a session of the CORE class held at the KCRC facility, a resident reflected back what some of the impacts of learning about dignity.

He started to open up, sharing with the class that he was a resident of the facility because he had been charged with domestic violence. However, he had shared in previous weeks that he didn’t understand his charge and didn’t agree with it because he had never physically hurt or touched his partner.

Through learning about the 10 Essential Elements of Dignity (Dr. Donna Hicks) and framing those as core values to keep in mind while dealing with conflict, he reflected that he was starting to understand the other perspective. The resident shared that he ”realized I had been raised with physical and verbal abuse, but had never labeled it that way.” He went on to say that he had started rethinking how he has internalized that, and that even though he tried to be different than how he raised by never using physical harm, his method of communication was abusive.

He shared with the class that he had reached out and apologized for the way he had communicated poorly and acknowledged how harmful it had been. He said that with some of the elements of dignity in mind he wanted to make things better and start taking responsibility for his actions.

This testimony shows the incredible impact that learning about dignity has. To start honoring the dignity in others, we have to also dignify ourselves as well. This resident had not looked at his previous experiences with dignity before. When he did, he was able to be kinder to his former and current self because he saw the patterns with which he was raised, and how he had been in situations where his dignity was not upheld. Those violations of his dignity had then translated into this pattern of not upholding other people’s dignity, even though it was in different ways than his upbringing. Recognizing the violations of dignity he had had earlier in life was a pivotal moment because it allowed for him the language to understand why he had trouble dignifying others.

Dignifying others and ourselves then has the power to start to shift, heal and create new pathways in relationships all around each person.